A walking economy
This guy is walking with his friend, who happens to be a psychologist. He says to this friend, "I'm a walking economy."

The friend asks, "How so?"

"My hair line is in recession, my stomach is a victim of inflation, and both of these together are putting me into a deep depression!"

I tried to be a tailor...
I tried to be a tailor, but I just wasn't suited for it. Mainly because it was a so-so job.