10 Good Things About The Flu
10. No one wants to come near you.

9. You can legally take sedatives.

8. You realize guests on daytime talk shows have worse lives than you do.

7. You get away with being rude, obnoxious and surly.

6. You can smell like a baboon's butt and nobody complains.

5. You can shlep about the house unwashed and in your housecoat all day.

4. No matter how bad you feel, it's still better than how you felt after last month's tequila 'n' gin party.

3. Star Trek re-runs.

2. Your dog is allowed on the bed.

1. You get to pass the virus on to those you really dislike.

A man was wandering around in a field, t...
A man was wandering around in a field, thinking about how good his wife had been to him, and how fortunate he was to have her.

He asked God, "Why did you make her so kind hearted?"

The Lord responded, "So you could love her, my son."

"Why did you make her so good looking?"

"So you could love her, my son."

"Why did you make her such a good cook?"

"So you could love her, my son."

The man thought about this. Then he said, "I dont mean to seem ungrateful or anything, but why did you make her so stupid?"

"So she could love you, my son."