Baptism Preparations
Before performing a baptism, the priest approached the young
father and said solemnly, "Baptism is a serious step. Are
you prepared for it?"

"I think so," the man replied. "My wife has made appetizers
and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and
cakes for all of our guests."

"I don't mean that," the priest responded. "I mean, are you
prepared spiritually?"

"Oh, sure," came the reply. "I've got a keg of beer and a
case of whiskey."

Air Heads
Poor Jim is killed in a Boston automobile accident, but happily he goes to heaven where he gets to meet God and asks God if he can ask him a few questions.

"Sure. Go right ahead," says the Almighty.

"OK," Jim says, "Why did you make women so pretty?"

"So you would like them," God replies.

"All right then," Jim nods, "but come you made them so nice and soft and curvey?"

"So you would LOVE them," God replies.

Jim ponders a moment and then asks, "But why did you make them such air heads?"

God replies, "So THEY would love YOU!"