Vote For Your Favorite Joke

A test for being drunk
A police officer pulls over this guy who had been weaving in and out of the lanes.

He goes up to the guy's window and says, "Sir, I need you to blow into this breathalyzer tube."

The man says, "Sorry officer I can't do that. I am an asthmatic. If I do that I'll have a really bad asthma attack."

"Okay, fine. I need you to come down to the station to give a blood sample." "I can't do that either. I am a hemophiliac. If I do that, I'll bleed to death."

"Well, then we need a urine sample."

"I'm sorry officer I can't do that either. I am also a diabetic. If I do that I'll get really low blood sugar."

"Alright then I need you to come out here and walk this white line."

"I can't do that, officer."

"Why not?"

"Because I'm too drunk to do that!"

A doctor is complaining to a mechanic
A doctor is talking to a car mechanic, "Your fee is several times more per hour then we get paid for medical care."

"Yeah, but you see, doc, you have always the same model, it hasn't changed since Adam; but we have to keep up to date with new models coming every month."

Latest Joke Fight Results:

• Be Politically Correct With Men was a winner against Best advice possible
• Bear Hunting was a winner against Advice for a Fisherman
• A Real Watch Dog was a winner against A rabbi, a priest, and a lawyer were all...
• And God Created ... Pets was a winner against A Modest Essay
• Angelic Love was a winner against After surgery
• How To Be Politically Correct With Women was a winner against A man lay sprawled across three entire seats...
• A jealous husband hires a private detective... was a winner against A man with a glass eye is here to see you
• A parent's night before Christmas was a winner against All the same
• A very homely young woman made an appointment with a psychiatrist... was a winner against A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner...
• Aunt Dora went to her doctor to see what could be done... was a winner against An ode to old age