Automotive horror
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on 280. Please be careful!"

"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

African Marriage
Young Son: 'Is it true, Dad? I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?

Dad: 'That happens in all countries, son.'