American University Grading Procedures
American University Grading Procedures Here is a list of the ways professors here at the American University grade their final exams: DEPT OF STATISTICS: - All grades are plotted along the normal bell curve. DEPT OF PSYCHOLOGY: - Students are asked to blot ink in their exam books, close them and turn them in. The professor opens the books and assigns the first grade that comes to mind. DEPT OF HISTORY: - All students get the same grade they got last year. DEPT OF RELEGION: - Grade is determined by God.DEPT OF PHILOSOPHY: - What is a grade? LAW SCHOOL: - Students are asked to defend their position of why they should receive an A. DEPT OF MATHEMATICS: - Grades are variable. DEPT OF COMPUTER SCIENCE: - If and only if the student is present for the final and the student has accumulated a passing grade then the student will receive an A else the student will not receive an A. MUSIC DEPARTMENT: - Each student must figure out his grade by listening to the instructor play the corresponding note (+ and - would be sharp and flat respectively). DEPT OF PHYSICAL EDUCATION: - Everybody gets an A.

Work vs. Prison
Work Vs. Prison

In prison you spend a majority of your time in an 8×10 cell. At work you spend most of your time in a 6×8 cubicle.

In prison you get three meals a day. At work you only get a break for one meal, and you have to pay for that one.

In prison you get time off for good behaviour. At work you get rewarded for good behaviour with more work.

In prison, a guard locks and unlocks all the doors for you. At work you must carry a security card and unlock and open all the doors yourself.

In prison you can watch TV and play games. At work you get fired for watching TV and playing games.

In prison they ball-and-chain you when you go somewhere. At work you’re just ball-and-chained.

In prison you get your own toilet. At work you have to share.

In prison they allow your family and friends to visit. At work you can’t even speak to your family and friends.

In prison all expenses are paid by taxpayers with no work required. At work you get to pay all the expenses to go to work and then they deduct taxes from your salary to pay for prisoners.

In prison you spend most of your life looking through bars from the inside wanting to get out. At work you spend most of your time wanting to get out and go to bars.

In prison you can join many programs which you can leave at any time. At work there are some programs you can never get out of.

In prison there are sadistic wardens. At work, we have managers.