A man went to the police station wishing to speak...
A man went to the police station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court," said the desk sergeant. "No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"

Anniversary
A guy says, "For our Twentieth Anniversary, I'm taking my wife to Australia."

His friend says, "That's going to be tough to beat. What are you going to do for your Twenty-fifth Anniversary?"

The first guy says, "I'm going to go back and get her."