Dumb.com >> Jokefight
Vote For Your Favorite Joke

I can't decide!

A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery ma...
A customer at Greens Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietors quick wit and intelligence.

"Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?"

"I wouldnt share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers wont hear. "But since youre a good and faithful customer, Ill let you in on it. Fish heads. You eat enough of them, youll be positively brilliant."

"You sell them here?" the customer asks.

"Only $4 apiece," says Green.

The customer buys three. A week later, hes back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter.

"You didnt eat enough, " says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, hes back and this time hes really angry.

"Hey, Green," he says, "Youre selling me fish heads for $4 apiece when I can buy the whole fish for $2. Youre ripping me off!"

"You see?" says Green. "You're smarter already."

A Short Time to Live
A man hasn't been fealing well, so he goes to his doctor for a complete checkup.

Afterward the doctor comes out with the results.

"I'm afraid I have some very bad news," the doctor says. "You're dying, and you don't have much time left."

"Oh, that's terrible!" says the man. "How long have I got?"

"Ten," the doctor says sadly.

"Ten?" the man asks. "Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!"

"Nine..."



Latest Joke Fight Results:

  • A famous General dies... was a winner against Being hurt
  • 100 Camels was a winner against bad advice
  • Company Policy was a winner against A man was leaving church one day...
  • An accountant is having a hard time sleeping... was a winner against Basketball
  • Company Policy was a winner against A father was at the beach with his child...
  • An ode to old age was a winner against Age Old Riddle
  • A Bee at a Bar Mitzvah was a winner against A sermon about lying
  • Ape Reading List was a winner against 100 Reasons To Party
  • A man with a glass eye is here to see you was a winner against Angelic Love
  • Bacon tree was a winner against A recruit who wasn't really meant to be a soldier...