Vote For Your Favorite Joke

A Nutty Game
A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well.

As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, ''Up nuts!''

And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, ''Down nuts!'' And they all sat.

After a home run he yelled, ''Cheer nuts!'' And they all broke into applause and cheers.

Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.

When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.

The assistant replied, ''Well...everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, ''PEANUTS!''

A sailor goes to a cementary
A sailor, while bringing flowers to a cemetery, noticed
an old Chinese man placing a bowl of rice on a nearby
grave. The sailor walked up to the man and asked, "When
do you expect your friend to come up and eat the rice?"

The old Chinese man replied with a smile, "Same time
your friend comes up to smell the flowers."

Latest Joke Fight Results:

• A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500... was a winner against Barber's don't exist
• A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery ma... was a winner against A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for...
• Bill Gates and General Motors was a winner against A man went to the police station wishing to speak...
• On The Job Wisdom was a winner against Build an Ark
• An ancient Irishman was a winner against An Unusual Vet
• A guy bought his wife a beautiful diamond ring for... was a winner against 2 Mexicans
• Bad computer viruses was a winner against
• Business one-liners 08 was a winner against An old occupation
• Bad Couch Trip was a winner against A lawyer and two friends, a Rabbi and a Hindu holy man...
• Funny News Headlines was a winner against A really cold morning