A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500...
A guy is down on his luck. He takes his last $500 and goes to Las Vegas. Overnight, he has a fantastic run of luck. He stumbles out of the casino and finds a pay phone. He calls his wife and says, "Honey, pack your bags.I just won over a million dollars in Vegas."His wife say, "That's wonderful. What should I pack for...Europe, the Carribean?"He says, "I don't care, just be gone when I get home."

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway? She wanted to lay it on the line.  Why did the unwashed chicken cross the road twice? Because he was a dirty double crosser.  Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? The stay on the same side  Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? He heard the referee calling fowls  Why Did The Chicken Cross The Playground? To get to the other slide.  Why did the rooster cross the road? To cockadoodle dooo something  Why did the rubber chicken cross the road? She wanted to stretch her legs.  What do you call a chicken crossing the road? Poultry in motion.  Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have enough guts  Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have enough guts  Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken.