Dumb.com >> Jokefight
Vote For Your Favorite Joke

I can't decide!

Any Last Words?
There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman, who were going to be shot.

On the day of the executions, they take the Scotsman outside.

"Any last words?", they asked.

He yelled "Earthquake!" and whilst the firing squad were running about in a panic, he climbed the wall and got away.

The Englishman, seeing this, thought he'd try it, so when his turn came.

He shouted "Flood!", and similarly escaped in the ensuing confusion.

The Irishman thought this was a good plan, too so when they asked him for his last words, he yelled "Fire!"

Blind pilots
One day at a busy airport, the passengers on a commercial airliner are seated, waiting for the cockpit crew to show up so they can get under way.

The pilot and copilot finally appear in the rear of the plane, and begin walking up to the cockpit through the center aisle.

Both appear to be blind. The pilot is using a white cane, bumping into passengers right and left as he stumbles down the aisle, and the copilot is using a guide dog. Both have their eyes covered with huge sunglasses.

At first the passengers do not react; thinking that it must be some sort of practical joke. However, after a few minutes the engines start revving and the airplane starts moving down the runway.

The passengers look at each other with some uneasiness, whispering among themselves and looking desperately to the stewardesses for reassurance.

Then the airplane starts accelerating rapidly and people begin panicking. Some passengers are praying, and as the plane gets closer and closer to the end of the runway, the voices are becoming more and more hysterical.

Finally, when the airplane has less than 20 feet of runway left, there is a sudden change in the pitch of the shouts as everyone screams at once, and at the very last moment the airplane lifts off and is airborne.

Up in the cockpit, the copilot breathes a sigh of relief and turns to the pilot: "You know, one of these days the passengers aren't going to scream, and we're gonna get killed!



Latest Joke Fight Results:

  • A blonde detective was a winner against Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
  • Bad temper problem was a winner against A very interesting fact
  • A Woman's Seminars was a winner against A Small Test
  • A pious man who had reached the age of 105... was a winner against A Lucky Break
  • A large difference was a winner against Billy Gates writes to Santa
  • All Male Jury was a winner against A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven...
  • A College Student’s Night Before Christmas was a winner against A Long Hot Bath
  • A Real Watch Dog was a winner against A staged wedding to bust dealers
  • A man and his Alligator was a winner against Men vs. Women
  • How To Annoy People In An Elevator was a winner against Attack Dog