A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven...
A lawyer passed on and found himself in Heaven,but not at all happy with his accommodations. He complained to St. Peter, who told him that his only recourse was to appeal his assignment. The lawyer immediately advised that he intended to appeal, but was then told that he would be waiting at least three years before his appeal could be heard. The lawyer protested that a three-year wait was unconscionable, but his words fell on deaf ears. The lawyer was then approached by the devil, who told him that he would be able to arrange an appeal to be heard in a few days, if the lawyer was willing to change venue to Hell. The lawyer asked: "Why can appeals be heard so much sooner in Hell?"The devil answered: "We have all of the judges."

A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner...
A defending attorney was cross examining a coroner.The attorney asks, "Before you signed the death certificate had you taken the man's pulse?" The coroner says, "No." The attorney then asks, "Did you listen for a heart beat?" "No." "So when you signed the death certificate you had not taken any steps to make sure the man was dead, had you?" The corner, now tired of the brow beating says, "Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk, but for all I know he could be out there practicing law somewhere."