Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway? She wanted to lay it on the line.  Why did the unwashed chicken cross the road twice? Because he was a dirty double crosser.  Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? The stay on the same side  Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? He heard the referee calling fowls  Why Did The Chicken Cross The Playground? To get to the other slide.  Why did the rooster cross the road? To cockadoodle dooo something  Why did the rubber chicken cross the road? She wanted to stretch her legs.  What do you call a chicken crossing the road? Poultry in motion.  Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have enough guts  Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have enough guts  Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken.

An Amazing Connection
A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor's for a physical.

The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, ''Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?''

And the man says, ''Oh me and God? We're tight. We have a real bond, he's good to me. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back off.''

Well, upon hearing this the doctor was astonished.

He called the man's wife and said, ''I'd like to speak to you about your husband's connection with God. He claims that every night when he needs to use the restroom, God turns on the light for him and turns it off for him again when he leaves. Is this true?''

And she says, ''That idiot, he's been peeing in the refrigerator!''