Can't chance it!
A guy goes on vacation to the Holy Land with his wife and mother-in-law. Halfway through their trip, the mother-in-law dies.

So the guy goes to an undertaker, who explains that they can ship the body home, but it'll cost $5,000 or they can bury her in the Holy Land for $150.

"We'll ship her home," says the son-in-law.

"Are you sure?" asks the undertaker. "That's an awfully big expense and I can assure you that we do a very nice burial here."

"Look," says the son-in-law, "two thousand years ago they buried a guy here, and three days later he rose from the dead. I just can't take that chance."

A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor...
A woman had some problems, so she went to her doctor of twenty years.They had the following conversation: Dr.: Take the red pill after breakfast with one glass of water.Woman: Ok. Dr: Take the blue pill after lunch with two glasses of water.Woman: Ok. Dr.: Take the yellow pill after dinner with three glasses of water.After giving these instructions to the woman, she asks, "Can you tell me what's wrong with me Dr.?Dr.: Yeah. You do not drink enough water.