Bad Couch Trip
I've been feeling down for so long that I finally decided to
seek the aid of a psychiatrist.
I went there, laid on the couch, spilled my guts then waited
for the profound wisdom of the psychiatrist to make me feel
better.
The psychiatrist asked me a few questions, took some notes
then sat thinking in silence for a few minutes with a puzzled
look on his face.
Suddenly, he looked up with an expression of delight and
said, "Ummmmm, I think your problem is low self-esteem. It is
very common among losers."
Ape Reading List
One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orangutan was
reading two books -- the Bible and Darwin's Origin of
Species.
In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both
those books?"
"Well," said the orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was
my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."