Any Last Words?
There was an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman, who were going to be shot.
On the day of the executions, they take the Scotsman outside.
"Any last words?", they asked.
He yelled "Earthquake!" and whilst the firing squad were running about in a panic, he climbed the wall and got away.
The Englishman, seeing this, thought he'd try it, so when his turn came.
He shouted "Flood!", and similarly escaped in the ensuing confusion.
The Irishman thought this was a good plan, too so when they asked him for his last words, he yelled "Fire!"
A staged wedding to bust dealers
As supposedly reported on CNN:
Undercover police, staging the wedding of "a drug kingpin's daughter", let it be known on the street that dealers were "invited" (i. e. Expected to attend).
The bride and groom were police, as was the band, bartender, and about half the guests. The band playing at the wedding was "S. P. O. C." (COPS, backwards), and the wedding went through the full ceremony, including the dancing afterward.
The long-sought dealers were arrested after the "band" took their break. The last song the band played before taking its break? "I Fought The Law, And The Law Won"
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