A man with a glass eye is here to see you
Nurse: Doctor, there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown.

Doctor: What does he call his other eye?

An ounce of brains
A lawyer finds out he has an inoperable brain tumor.

It's so large, they have to do a brain transplant.

His doctor gives him a choice of available brains.

There's a jar of rocket scientist brains for $10 an ounce.

A jar of regular scientist brains for $15 an ounce.

And a jar of lawyer brains for the sum of $800 an ounce.

The outraged lawyer says, "This is a rip off! How come the lawyer brains are so damned expensive?"

The doctor replies, "Do you know how many lawyers it takes to get an ounce of brains?"