On The Job Wisdom
1. If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.

2. The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

3. Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent.

4. Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings -- they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

5. A person who smiles in the face of adversity probably has a scapegoat.

6. If at first you don't succeed--try management.

7. Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

8. Never quit until you have another job.

9. Hang in there: Retirement is only 30 years away!

10. Go the extra mile--It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.

11. Pride, commitment, teamwork--words we use to get you to work for free.

12. Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore.

13. There are two kinds of people in life: people who like their jobs, and people who don't work here anymore.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway? She wanted to lay it on the line.  Why did the unwashed chicken cross the road twice? Because he was a dirty double crosser.  Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? The stay on the same side  Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? He heard the referee calling fowls  Why Did The Chicken Cross The Playground? To get to the other slide.  Why did the rooster cross the road? To cockadoodle dooo something  Why did the rubber chicken cross the road? She wanted to stretch her legs.  What do you call a chicken crossing the road? Poultry in motion.  Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have enough guts  Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have enough guts  Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken.