A father was at the beach with his child...
A father was at the beach with his children when his four-year-old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore, where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"

Bad News and Good News
Jill phoned her husband, John, at work for a chat. "I'm sorry dear," said John, "but I'm up to my neck in work today. I don't have time to chat."

Jill replied, "But I've got some good news and some bad news for you, dear."

"OK darling," said John, "but as I've got no time right now, just give me the good news."

"Okay," agreed Jill. "Well, the air bag works...bye!"