2 Mexicans
A Border Patrol agent is on duty. He spots two Mexicans and runs them down. They show him their papers (he thinks they are phony).

He tells them, "O.K. I have a test for you. I want you to use the words 'cheese' and 'liver' in a sentence."

So, the first guy says, "I made a liver and cheese sandwich for lunch."

The agent says, "That was good, you can go. What about you?" he asks the second guy.

He says, "Liver alone. Cheese mine."

A famous General dies...
The famous general died and his ashes were to be taken to
Arlington National Cemetery. All the airlines were booked
and there were no other planes available. Someone came up
with the idea of using a helicopter. It arrived at five
a.m. The newspapers reported the incident with "the whirly
bird gets the urn".