After surgery
As the lawyer slowly came out of the anesthesia after surgery, he said, "Why are all the blinds drawn, doctor?"

"There's a big fire across the street," the doctor replied. "We didn't want you to think the operation was a failure."

Bathtub Seizure
Q: What do you do if someone's having a seizure in a bathtub?
A: Throw in a load of laundry.