A real dilemma
I have this friend who has a real dilemma. His wife won't give him a divorce until she figures out a way of doing it without making him a happy man.

A bad habit
I overheard a friend telling his pal, "I can't break my wife of the habit of staying up until 5 in the morning.""What is she doing?", the pal asks."Waiting for me to get home."