Ashes to Ashes, Dust to Dust
After church, Johnny tells his parents he has to go and talk
to the minister right away. They agree and the pastor greets
the family.

"Pastor," Johnny says, "I heard you say today that our
bodies came from the dust."

"That's right, Johnny, I did."

"And I heard you say that when we die, our bodies go back to
dust."

"Yes, I'm glad you were listening. Why do you ask?"

"Well you better come over to our house right away and look
under my bed 'cause there's someone either comin' or goin'!"

Businessman is dying
A businessman on his deathbed called his friend and said, "Bill, I want you to promise me that when I die you will have my remains cremated."

"And what," his friend asked, "do you want me to do with your ashes?"

The businessman said, "Just put them in an envelope and mail them to the Internal Revenue Service. Write on the envelope, "Now, you have everything."