A Nutty Game
A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his inmates to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well.
As the national anthem started, the doctor yelled, ''Up nuts!''
And the inmates complied by standing up. After the anthem he yelled, ''Down nuts!'' And they all sat.
After a home run he yelled, ''Cheer nuts!'' And they all broke into applause and cheers.
Thinking things were going very well, he decided to go get a beer and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge.
When he returned there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, he asked what happened.
The assistant replied, ''Well...everything was fine until some guy walked by and yelled, ''PEANUTS!''
Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?
Why did the chicken cross the road halfway? She wanted to lay it on the line. Why did the unwashed chicken cross the road twice? Because he was a dirty double crosser. Why did the chicken cross the Mobius strip? The stay on the same side Why did the chicken cross the basketball court? He heard the referee calling fowls Why Did The Chicken Cross The Playground? To get to the other slide. Why did the rooster cross the road? To cockadoodle dooo something Why did the rubber chicken cross the road? She wanted to stretch her legs. What do you call a chicken crossing the road? Poultry in motion. Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have enough guts Why didn't the chicken skeleton cross the road? Because he didn't have enough guts Why did the chewing gum cross the road? Because it was stuck to the chicken.
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