A man goes to his bank manager and says...
A man goes to his bank manager and says "I'd like to start a small business how do I go about it?"The bank manager leans back and clasps his hands together on his gut and replies "Buy a big one and wait."

Bribing the Judge
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the
opposing lawyers. "So," he said, "I have been presented, by
both of you, with a bribe."

Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably.

"You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney
Campos, gave me $10,000." The judge reached into his pocket
and pulled out a check. He handed
it to Leon.

"Now then, I'm returning $5,000, and we're going to decide
this case solely on its merits.