A customer sent an order to a distributor...
A customer sent an order to a distributor for a large amount of goods totaling a great deal of money. The distributor noticed that the previous bill hadn't been paid. The collections manager left a voicemail for them saying, "We can't ship your new order until you pay for the last one."The next day the collections manager received a collect phone call,"Please cancel the order. We can't wait that long."

A drunk stumbles along a Baptismal servi...
A drunk stumbles along a Baptismal service on a Sunday
afternoon down by the river. He proceeds to stumble down
into the water and stands next to the Minister. The Minister
turns, notices the old drunk and says, "Mister, are you ready to find Jesus?"

The drunk looks back and says, "Yes sir, I am."

The Minister then dunks the fellow under the water and pulls
him right back up.

"Have you found Jesus?" the Minister asked.

"No, I didnt!" said the drunk.

The Minister then dunks him under for a quite a bit longer,
brings him up and says, "Now brother, have you found Jesus?"

"No, I did not!" said the drunk again.

Disgusted, the Minister holds the man under for at least 30
seconds this time, brings him up and demands, "For the grace
of God, have you found Jesus yet?"

The old drunk wipes his eyes and pleads, "Are you sure this
is where he fell in?"