Vote For Your Favorite Joke
Funny Signs:
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At a Budapest zoo - Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty.
Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan - Stop - Drive Sideways.
From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner - Cooles and Heates - If you want just condition of warm in your room, please control yourself.From the Soviet Weekly - There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years.
In a Bangkok dry cleaners - Drop your trousers here for best results.
In a Bucharest hotel lobby - The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we regret that you will be unbearable.
In a Copenhagen airline ticket office - We take your bags and send them in all directions.
In a hotel in Athens, Greece - Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 AM daily.
In a Japanese hotel room - Please to bathe inside the tub.
In a Paris hotel elevator - Please leave your values at the front desk.
In a Rhodes, Greece tailor shop - Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation.
In a Swiss mountain inn - Special today -- no ice cream.
In a Tokyo Hotel - Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read notis.
In a Tokyo shop - Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run.
In an Acapulco hotel - The manager has personally passed all the water served here.
In an advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist - Teeth extrcted by the latest Methodists.
In an East African newspaper - A new swimming pool is rapidly taking shape since the contractors have thrown in the bulk of their workers.
In the window of a Swedish furrier - Fur coats made for ladies from their own skin.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant - Our wines leave you nothing to hope for.
Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop - Ladies may have a fit upstairs.
Sign from a Majorcan shop entrance - English well talking
Twas the night before finals, and all through the college,
The students were praying for last minute knowledge.
Most were quite sleepy, but none touched their beds,
While visions of essays danced in their heads.
Out in the taverns, a few were still drinking,
And hoping that liquor would loosen their thinking.
In my own apartment, I had been pacing,
And dreading exams I soon would be facing.
My roommate was speechless, his nose in his books,
And my comments to him drew unfriendly looks.
I drained all the coffee, And brewed a new pot,
No longer caring hat my nerves were so shot.
I stared at my notes, but my thoughts were so muddy,
My eyes went ablur, I just couldn’t study.
“Some pizza might help,”I said with a shiver,
But each place I called refused to deliver.
I’d nearly concluded that life was too cruel,
With futures depending on grades had in school.
When all of a sudden, our door opened wide,
And Patron Saint Put It Off ambled inside.
Her spirit was careless, her manner was mellow,
With her eyes open wide she started to bellow:
“What kind of student would make such a fuss,
To toss back at teachers what they tossed at us?”
“On Cliff Notes! On Crib Notes! on Last Year’s Exams!
On Wingit and Slingit, and Last Minute Crams!”
Her message delivered, she vanished from sight,
But we heard her laughing outside in the night.
“Your teachers have pegged you, so just do your best.
Happy Finals to All, and to All, a good test.”
