i don't know
you said 'i love you'. i said it back.
i'm just not 100% sure i feel the same way. i didn't want to make things awkward between us, that's all.
Getting Over My Ex
I tell people, my current and prior girlfriends included, that I'm over her. It's a massive, massive lie. I'm still in love with her. She's moving in her current boyfriend, marriage is looming for them, and I still would do or give anything to be back with her. Every time we talk, I get depressed. Just thinking about her is enough to ruin a day with trying not to cry and hurt myself. It's been this way for years and I don't think this will ever change. Honestly, I'd rather die than keep living like this.
I have no real personality or interests/hobbies. Instead i camouflage myself by taking pieces of other peoples personalities, or even characters on television shows. It works sometimes. But i never want to get in anything other than a friendship with someone.
My messy ways drive him crazy
But I really think the problem is his. And further to this, he complains with such frequency that i now no longer have any desire to tidy up at all.
Let me make this clear. i'm not dirty. I use soap, water and clean up any food or nasty wastes - but I am messy. i leave stuff out, throw my clothes on the floor and fill our 2nd bedroom with junk I'm too lazy or strapped for time to put back.
He's a little dirty. His idea of clean is to put stuff away but to never actually remove dirt. Except vaccuuming. If we had hardwood with and area rugs though, he would totally sweep everything under the rugs. He shoves things continously into drawers, with no rhyme or reason, and then complains when they break. He took photos of all my messy things (purse, table, floor near table, 2nd bedroom). When I saw them I want to alternately yell or laugh. 1) Doesn't he have homework to do? 2) what's he going to use them for? evidence at the divorce trial?
I mean, dude will take a bath in a grimy tub and use a nasty germ infested sink but somehow I'm the bad guy because I'm a bit of a clutterbug? Let the record show that I actually clean all the sinks, toilets, screens, windows and cupboards. I do this every week, without complaint. all he does is complain.
If he keeps this up, I'm going to remove all my things and make the house completely museum-like. Then I'm going to leave him.
give him to someone else...
I live with my boyfriend but there was never real love... But he's a kind person, I'm afraid of all the hurt I cause if I simply break up.
So I'm trying to push him to cheat on me... Like dating with other people (and nice girls without bf in that group), then
Regret and Bad Timing
I use to know this guy in high school and I really had it for him, but at the time he didn't really want anything to do with me. Now, 2 years later...he's interested. I'm in a relationship with a guy I've been with for over a year. I wonder what could have happened. Why is it always bad timing??
I'm back to my old habits... obsessing with the scale, counting calories... exercising... my ex asks me if I'm eating, I joke that I'm on the Ethiopian diet, truth is, I don't want to eat. Today I only ate a nectarine and a few bites of Salad - I worked out at the gym for an hour... and somehow I still don't feel good. I'm obsessed with this guy I sorta like.. he doesn't want anything serious, and I'm sure he's out with other girls... I see them on his Facebook and they're so much prettier and thinner than I am... I've slept with him and I'm sure he thinks I'm too fat. I hate when people touch my stomach... I smoke because it makes me less hungry.
Sometimes, when I think about how depressed I was in high school, particularly sophomore/junior year. I feel sometimes I'd be more content with life if I felt the way I used to.
0.50 for gas
I have been changing the gas prices where I work and getting premium gas for .50 a gallon for the last 7 months. Been there for 4 years. Nobody notices or knows. I just change it in the computer, put about 5-7 gallons in and then change it back. They could figure it out if they wanted to. I can't stand gas prices. Is it worth being fired over? No. But I still do it. I only spend about $20 a month on fuel, and "save" about $120. Job perks.
When I was a kid...
EVERYONE liked power rangers but NOBODY would admit it. So we all watched power rangers, and hid it, and nobody was ever available to play after school when power rangers was on, but they could never tell ya why they were not available. Power Rangers memorobilia was always popping up because our parents knew we loved it, so they bought it for us, but we would try to play with it in secret. A friend of mine wouldn't let anyone ever into his room because he had power ranger bedsheets. I myself, wore my White Ranger watch at home only. Thank God for this, because it stayed in great condition, and I sold it for quite a bit of money.
sent to bed early humiliation
my parents were very strict.It was customary to be sent to bed early when I misbehaved. Often i was told in front of my friends, family or neighbours to put my pajamas on and then i would have to sit in the same room as everyone in them. Sometimes i would have to get straight into my pajamas when i got home from school. I could often hear my sisters friends laughing at me as i sat there. I remberber especially i was 14 and they were only 8 having to put my pajamas on at 3pm and sit in them whilst we had tea. My parents never smacked me but the humiliation of being made to wear pajamas so very early and sent to bed at 6pm was much worse.
angry at religion!!
absurdity: some 3000 years ago, in the middle east, some religious zelots (lazy and bored men who invent absurdities and sell them to others as visions in order to gain at least a little bit of respect in life) came up with the following story: "there's a big and mighty man in the sky and he's is watching us how we slowly die.
the only thing he wants us humans to do in life is to become his puppets and into heaven we will fly - but if we can't accept this plan we're doomed 4 ever." This sounds like every lazy-bum zelots' dream: an army of braindead puppets who will follow him, nourish him, clothe him, kiss his butt and not question him because he is being utilized by the "big man in the sky" for a divine purpose. talking of purpose..
doesn't it seem much more likely that it is not the big man in the sky who utilizes the zelot to reach a divine purpose but vice vera, minus the word "divine"?
think about it ;-)
--> religion is the biggest scam ever. it is natural to fear the unknown but to fill the unkknown with such junk is clearly the work of an army of fear-mongers. and saving your souls is not on their agenda. the only thing on their agenda is filling their pockets and gaining a position of power... i could go on and on, but i won't ;-) have a nice life y'all!
I cheated on a couple of tests for my M.Div degree. I'm afraid that if my school finds out, they'll revoke it.
Posed as someone else
I once posed as a girl online, just for fun. I ended up meeting this amazing girl who I really liked, but under false pretences. She really was the most beautiful girl I've ever seen, no jokes, and she had a great personality too. After a week or so I emailed her and told her the truth because I felt so bad about it, it took so much courage to do it but I feel a bit better now. I just feel like I've tainted her life forever and it tortures me.
I keep thinking about him
I keep thinking about this guy that is my fiance's co-worker/friend. I sometimes wonder if I am really suppose to be with the man I am with now. Though I then start thinking about how nice my fiance is and how much I love him. I just get really bored with him sometimes because he is not very spontaneous. This other guy just has something about him that allures me to him. I know he would never do anything with me because he does not want to ruin his friendship, but I would love to just kiss him. I really want to do something about it, but I am not sure what. I don't know if I should just try and be friends with him...or what? It sucks I get all hot and heavy over a guy that I can never be with...I sometimes hate that the man I am with is so nice and wants only me. It makes me feel awful inside...I know that I should just get over it but I KEEP THINKING ABOUT HIM. Eventhough he drinks, smokes, and most likely has been with a lot
of woman. My fiance will not let me be alone
with him because he knows that I have a crush on him. He does not know that I think about him all the time.
Never shall be...
I am engaged to this wonderful man and have been so for a year, but I really like his friend. I know that this is not right and I am not sure if I just like this guy because he is new and different or something more. Nothing will ever happen though because, well it just will not. But I cannot get this other guy out of me head. I keep thinking about him and I just want to be around him. I know though that I should not want these things because I could never hurt my fiance. I suppose I just want to get to know this other guy better...
I want my 'friend' to fail at life so badly.
All she does is piss and moan about everything. When she doesn't have something her way, she'll say she'll hurt herself. And what's worse is her Parents will give her it! I feel so bad for her Parents. They sound so drained and tired most of the time.
She's out 'til all hours of the morning, staying at strangers houses and doing God knows what- at 14 years of age.
It's disgusting. She's never at school and I'm surprised she even bothers turning up for exams. She wants to be a singer, but the truth is 1)she's so bone idol, b) she doesn't want to do anything herself, someone else will have to get her signed and c) she can't sing. It's true, or play guitar, bass or kayboard. Stop using your Nan as an excuse for 'failing' in counselling (or blaming ME again- I'm sorry that I had my own problems and that I didn't drop everything for YOU) and wise up. I'm sick of you!
She Loves me!
Today I was standing there at our campus, where some of our gang gather around a girl who fainted...I kept "Talking my Talk" so I can get people out of the "worry" mood. She came along to stand with the girl who fainted, and everytime I looked at her directly she blushed, like never before....She went red faced with a cute smile..well I still like her, but I won't do this mistake again, Last time I kept treating her nicely in a Lover boy manner, and I got stiffed (not really, it was my mistake) but still!, I guess I'll let days pass, may be one day things will go the way I wanted!....Honestly I hope it does....T13