Teacher to student: which book has helped u most in u r life?
Student: my father’s checkbook
~ Jokes SMS Text Message

Doctor- i have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient- give me the bad news first.
Doctor- the lab called with your test results. U have 24 hours to live.
Patient.- that's terrible! What could b more worse than this?
Doctor- i have been trying to reach u since yesterday!
~ Jokes SMS Text Message

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our
Upcoming anniversary. She said, ‘I want something shiny
That goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds!’ I gifted her
A weighing scale
~ Jokes SMS Text Message

Baby Mosquito
came back after its
1st time flying.
His dad asked him,
“How do you Feel.?”
He replied, “It was Wonderful, Everyone
was Clapping For Me.!”
~ Jokes SMS Text Message

After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, You know, I was a fool when I married you. She replied, Yes, dear I know, but I was in love and didn't notice.
~ Jokes SMS Text Message

Why are American names like Jackson, Wilson, Markson, Robinson, Kenson, Anderson, Davison, Jemson?
So that mom can remember who is whose son.
~ Jokes SMS Text Message

Newly married couple went to a restuarant.
Husband: Darling, now we r just like one person.
Wife: It's ok. But don't forget to order lunch for two.
~ Jokes SMS Text Message

INTERVIEWER: Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire?
JOB APPLICANT: Simple, stop imagining.
~ Jokes SMS Text Message

A woman is sitting at a bar. A man approaches her. Hi, honey, he says. Want a little company? Why? Asks the woman. Do you have one to sell?
~ Jokes SMS Text Message

Soldier - Sir we are surrounded by enemies from all the directions. major- excellent! now we can fire in any directions.
~ Jokes SMS Text Message

Marriage is a three ring circus:
An engagement ring,
A wedding ring,
And suffering
~ Jokes SMS Text Message

GIRL: I think the poorest people are the happiest. BOY: Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
~ Jokes SMS Text Message

Question: When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE?
Answer: On their MARRIAGE.
~ Jokes SMS Text Message